The route least expected
I followed the plan. Early to bed, early to work, an early lunch, early dinner with the kids, and early to bed. I thought I had the world under control, successful at work, home, and my kids were great at school. We even had cable-tv, access to new cars, and I sported a brand-new Zune. Life was all good, and I thanked God on most nights for allowing me to be so lucky.
Without warning; it all changed in January of 2008. Fell apart, literally. But, it turns out……it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. No more everyday “home-runs” at the office, no more perfect marriage, bills piled up, all of the luxuries fell away, and there was no more early to bed with the stress I was going through. You would think all of that would be enough to make a grown man cry, but…… it’s made me laugh.
“You know, people got a funny idea that being brave is not being scared. I don’t know. I always figured that if you weren’t scared, there was nothing to be brave about”.
Humphrey Bogart repeated this line in an old black-and-white, you know, the ones you watch when you’re too depressed to do anything else. But for me, it was a great revelation… Life’s not exciting without being scary. No one would hop on a roller coaster if it weren’t scary at the beginning, but that’s not the part that we really get on for. We get high off of the excitement of making to the end of the ride, the feeling that we’ve conqured these super, extraordinary speeds and forces…..and walked away tall afterwards. So today, I’m not crying, I’m laughing. In relief of the burden of being who I thought I needed to be. In reconnecting and acknowledging my true feelings, wants, and desires. In being proud of myself for being the better person that I knew I could be.
The words of Dr. Martin Luther King that he shared with the world in 1960’s, words I never really understood until July of 2008. Life is not measured through those moments we expect, the ones that count the most are the ones we don’t. Divorce, Death, Darkness. How we come out on the other side of these situations makes us the best of who we are.
I am not the same person I thought I was in December 2007, and I’m all the better for it.
